Happy 11th Birthday Jacob!

11 years of pure joy with this boy:

Jacob Fisher, I love you more than I could ever describe.  I'm so glad God chose me to be your Mom!  Happy 11th Birthday!

Love Is In The Air...

Valentine’s Day…I seriously wonder how many people truly enjoy Valentine’s Day.  It seems to me that people either love it, or hate it.  It’s never been a particularly big deal to me.  In general, I think most people are already confused about what love is to begin with.  We too often buy into Hollywood’s version of what love is…how someone makes us feel, or what they can do for us, instead of truly understanding what it means to love another.

The dictionary defines love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  This singular meaning for the word love leaves a lot out in my opinion.  I personally appreciate that the Greek language has four different words for love, depending on the type of love being described. 

Eros love (America’s most glamorized form of love) is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings.  It often triggers “high” feelings in a new relationship, often making you feel “in love.”  It is a highly emotional and sexual love that will not last unless it can move up the “love scale,” because it focuses on self and how the person makes you feel instead of the other person.

Storge love means “affection” in Greek.  It is a natural affection that parents feel for their children.  It typically describes the love felt within families.  It is an unconditional love that accepts flaws and faults in other people, and ultimately drives you to forgive each other.  It is a commited love that makes you feel secure, comfortable, and safe.

Phileo love is a mental love in which affection and tender feelings for others are felt in a platonic manner.  It makes you desire a friendship with someone, and is the kind of love that livens up Agape love.  While you can have Agape love for your enemies, you probably will not feel phileo love for these people.  Phileo love is how you feel for someone, and is also a committed and chosen love.

Agape love is an unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface of a person, and accepts the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings and/or faults.  Agape love is all about sacrifice as well as giving and expecting nothing in return.  It is a committed and chosen love, a love that we demonstrate to others.

And of course, we cannot discuss love without turning to God.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 16:14

Do everything in love.

John 15:12

My command is this:  Love each other as I have loved you.

1 John 4:19

We love because He first loved us.

One of the goals I set for my little family for 2014 is to choose a topic or “monthly theme” to discuss and study each month.  This month, not surprisingly, we are exploring the topic of love.   What is love?  What does it mean to love the people in our lives?  How do you display and or show others your love for them?  And most importantly, what does God teach us about love?  We will also be memorizing a different scripture each week in February with this theme, and will have a weekly challenge in order to practice what we are learning.

I would appreciate your suggestions and ideas on the theme of love as well.  Message me ways in which your family shows love to each other and those you come into contact with.

AND, I need more topics for future months…I know we will be exploring honesty/trust, courage, commitment, and hope.  Have any other ideas for us???

Look Who's 54!

On Monday, January 13th, the best Dad on the planet (mine of course!) turned 54.

I don’t know how birthdays worked at your house, but when I was growing up, on our birthday we were able to request whatever we wanted for dinner that night, and choose what type of cake we wanted.  Normally I requested tacos…it’s obviously not very hard to impress me.  My brother on the other hand, would typically request a turkey dinner, or lasagna.  I should note now that I was the good kid…just kidding…love you Travis!

So back to my Dad…

For his 54^th birthday, I invited my Dad over for dinner with the kids and I, and he got to choose what he wanted for dinner, and request his favorite cake, AND, I promised to make it all from scratch.  I know, I know, totally impressive!

Menu:

Lasagna

Green Salad

German Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Ice Cream

 The best part was seeing my cute kiddos play with their Grandpa…I love watching them all interact. 

Love you Dad!  Wishing you a fun and successful year #54!

Not My Story

Fair warning:  If you ever ask me the title of my favorite book, movie, or song, prepare to get a list.  I simply love a good story.  You may be able to get me to narrow my “favorites” list by sticking to a genre, but it will still be a list.  Well, unless you ask me about horror movies…there is no list of great horror movies in my world. 

You see, all great stories are able to suck us into whatever emotion or conflict it is exploring. 

*Have I mentioned that I am an emotional girl?  Quick…name the artist who sang that song! J  No, really, my cousin (you know who you are!) and I (along with a lot of other Reed’s) got stuck with a high emotion gene.  We feel joy, sorrow, fear, hate, etc. deeply.  We are the ones crying at commercials, or ready to fight battles on behalf of those we love.  It doesn’t take much to get to us emotionally.  Heck, that unnamed cousin and I can see the other one crying, and start crying in support of the other’s tears.  It’s sad really.*

I regress…great stories suck us into the emotion and conflict the characters in the book or movie are experiencing.  We get to experience pain, fear, rejection, betrayal, and revenge through these characters, and then we get to see how they are going to respond to said tragedy.  Do they seek revenge?  Get mad at God for their lot in life?  Go on living with bitterness and resentment?  Do they let the fear of repeating their past mistakes or hurt control their current and future decisions on loving again, or living a full and productive life?  Or, do they battle on through life with courage, kindness, and love?

Reaction:    action in response to some influence or event

Yup, reactions…mine in particular; have been on my mind lately.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t always respond or react in a positive or helpful manner.  I know that at times I have momentarily, and in some cases, for long seasons, let bitterness, vindictiveness and fear control my life.  Or maybe something small irritates me or hurts my feelings, and I throw out a bit of sarcasm or a cutting remark. 

Fear:  a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; something that causes feelings of dread or apprehension; anticipation of the possibility that something unpleasant will occur.

Fear has controlled far too much of my life in the past.  I think broken dreams, particularly long standing hopes and dreams we have held that we either actively participates in destroying, or feel like we had no control over, create a particular fear of repeating the mistake, or a fear that our new life will not produce a story as great or better than the original dream we had.  At least this has been the case in my life. 

My heart’s deepest desire was to create a solid and lasting nuclear family.  Imagine my distress and despair when I then felt that divorce was my only viable option.  Even knowing deep down in my soul that divorce was the best decision I could make within my circumstances, my decision to divorce, has come with much grieving…sometimes daily (and it’s been 5 years!).  While I did grieve over the loss of my relationship with my husband, my biggest struggle with grief has been about the loss of the story I wanted for my life, and the broken promise I made to God to love, cherish, and respect this man for the rest of my life.

The real kicker is that I don’t want fear to control my life or my choices.  I want to be able to step into new relationships and situations with courage.  I want to trust that God’s story for my life is greater and bigger than the one I had dreamed up…even if my story includes a bit of brokenness and a hardship or two.  I want to enjoy the chapter of life I am currently living, while anxiously awaiting the next chapter I’m being prepared for.  Instead of having feelings of “this is NOT my story,” I want to embrace the interruptions and course corrections of my life with joy and hope for the future, realizing that sometimes my plans are derailed in order to relocate me to the places I need to go.

Bowman's Bay

Today the kids and I took a trip to Bowman’s Bay.  We used to live in Anacortes (a short jump and a skip away from Bowman’s Bay), and I must admit that the Fidalgo Bay and Whidbey Island areas are two of my favorites in the great Northwest.

The idea was to go on a hike, but as usual, the kids high-jacked my plans and decided to split their time between the playground and the beach.  Good thing I love walking the beach and taking in the beautiful scenery!  

It was a very cold trip, but fun.  Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the day.

My 2014 Resolution

Resolution: a decision or determination; firmness of purpose; intention made.

I love new beginnings.  I think it’s the thought that with this new fresh start, anything is possible…that feeling that the sky is the limit.  I must admit however, that I tend to be an “all or nothing” kind of gal.  I start out each New Year with a page full of resolutions that may or may not be achievable or even realistic in some cases.  Crazily, life has a tendency to either get in the way of my best intentions.  Or, perhaps it’s the pressure I feel to change in so many ways or areas in my life all at one time, and seemingly, overnight, that tends to stall or entirely erase the resolutions I set each year.  Talk about unrealistic! 

Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of goal setting.  So much so, that despite these new realizations, I find myself writing pages (and yes, you read that correctly…pages) of goals for 2014.  How else am I going to stay focused as I begin to implement, change, and try new things in 2014 while still living life with all its every day hum drums, interruptions, surprises, and possible game changers?  I think the difference is that goals leave room for setbacks, a stall in progress, or revisions in the plan itself.  Goal setting is about intentionally directing our efforts towards our desired outcome or achievement, instead of the overnight change we expect of ourselves with resolutions.  That is why this year I am resolving to give myself grace as I work towards the goals and changes I hope to make this year.

I hope that you too will give yourselves grace as you live your lives in 2014, and remember…love others deeply, and don’t be afraid to take chances!